the artists and the pig
it was back in the good old days, when the drugs were pure and the friendships were true. a few pals and i were living in a loft in a small city i will not name for it’s own protection, surviving as best we knew how. the times were rough, there were never enough hours in the day or paychecks to pay the bills. waiting tables and working retail helped keep the lights on. for our psyches, we took whatever odd creative gigs came our way. we were involved in many projects over the years, and became good friends with several bands after helping them construct set pieces and props.
one rainy november afternoon we were brainstorming our next public art piece when there was a knock at the door. one of the boys went to answer. he was gone for some time, and we started to wonder who had come calling. when i got up to walk towards the door, my friend came floating down the hall towards me, feet never touching the ground, a smile beaming across his face. he clutched a piece of paper in his hand, and thrust it towards me.
it was blueprints for a pig. a giant, paper mache pig. the visitors? pink floyd.
needless to say, we got to work immediatly, thrilled for a chance to build a prop for one of the most influential bands on the twentieth century. we went through hundreds of pounds of flour, making paste. we spent our weekends gathering old newspapers from recycling centers. we toiled and created and were consistently covered in paste and bits of paper.
the deadline grew close, and the pig was more work than we had anticipated. we worked night and day, tearing, mixing, pasting, coating, painting. finaly, we neared the end, with less than a day to spare. as we checked the pig one last time, making sure it was soundly build and well colored, i noticed something.
we had forgotten the tail.
the pig had no tail! we had used the last of the newspaper in the final layers. time was of the essence. suddenly, i noticed the notebook on a table. it was the only way.
i tore out the daily poll questions, one by one, and created a big curly tail for pink floyd’s giant pink pig. there was just enough paper, as if the notebook was realizing it’s purpose. the pig was delivered on time, and the guys in the band were very satisfied. we had several other jobs from them over the years, and they were always a pleasure to work with.
the giant pink pig went on to become legendary, but fell off the top of a tour van in 1983. it is now presumed one with the earth.
the real story of the notebook
hey everyone! i just wanted to check in and thank you guys for being so responsive and having so much fun with crunchy bits! i’m really happy with how swimmingly it has been going for the first five days - i’m having so much fun! my silly little projects make me happy – thanks for being a part of it!
it’s nice to be able to reconstruct that notebook of mine. it was so sad when, lost in the wilderness with a friend and the book, we had to burn the pages for warmth and to cook the lizards we had trapped. one page (i distinctly remember the question was about killing cheerleaders) became a bandage when a coyote tried to eat my friend’s arm. it was a terifying two months, lost and alone, but the notebook, and the original poll questions, helped us through. i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we could have saved the book, if we had never taken it with us on that trip, if i could have published the secrets of insane minds. luckily, i have a fresh batch of insane minds to help, and a free and forgiving place in which to publish it. yay for the internets!
thanks for making me smile. keep it up =)
The tale of the notebook. . .
welcome to Crunchy Bits, a daily poll question blog. i ask the question, you give me the best answer you can. that’s all. no rules, no worries, no pants. have fun!
the traditional daily poll question dates back many, many years, to a big ugly brick building in the suburbs. if you were there at the right time, if you had classes with the right girl, you may remember a wrinkled page being passed to you. once you touched it, you had to answer the question that was written on it. the questions, and subsequent answers, were silly, sometimes angry, often sexual, and always amusing. they connected us, made us laugh, and sometimes got us in trouble. (i’ve been told it was like an early, analog myspace survey.) i wanted to publish the questions and answers in a book, thinking maybe the world would find us as amusing as we found ourselves.
the poll questions had been carefully logged in a three ring binder, in date order. i kept careful watch over it, until late one night when i saw a flashlight outside my bedroom window. a man in a dark uniform shined the light into my eyes and simply said ‘give. me. the. book.’ i looked down at his hand, and realized he was clutching a thick-barreled gun. terrified, i did not question him. i padded over to my desk, slid the binder into my hands, numbly walked back and handed it over. he did not even look at me as he took it and vanished into the night. i was left alone, wondering how he had been standing outside my attic bedroom window.
the daily poll question has taken a few forms since that fateful night. most recently, it has been text messages asking silly questions. this led to more than one dear friend suggesting i restart the daily poll. so, my friends, it begins again. i am risking my very safety to bring you the new and improved, all digital, free from messy handwriting, daily poll question, crafted with love.
enjoy. i know i will =)
